What do you do to help young people find, express and share their purpose in life? It could be the most important thing to focus on in 2021.
At InspireChilli, we took time over the year end with our Team Young People to explore what purpose means and how young people see its significance in their lives. Purpose has real power for young people, so it is worth understanding further. We discovered 5 main things:
1. Thinking about and identifying a purpose has tremendous value for young people, linked with acceptance, belonging and personal wellbeing.
2. Sharing their purpose gives young people joy and excitement but can also make them feel vulnerable.
3. Young people typically define their purpose in terms of an impact on others, and are aware that their purpose is likely to evolve through life experiences.
4. Having a sense of purpose enables young people to stay more focused and deal with external pressures.
5. Help to achieve purpose ranges from having a good support network, financial security, and self-belief, to practical supports including time, mental space and connection with a mentor.
What do young people think their purpose in life is?
Young people define their purpose in life far beyond their selves. As one research participant said, “The purpose of my life is a bit more complex than seeing a defined career path in front of me, or a specific role.” What young people saw as their purpose was ‘to live a life bigger than me’ – often defined by being ‘here for others, not just myself’ – to ‘empower others’, even though for and by what and for whom was not always clear. ‘The biggest journey has been figuring out in which way I will achieve this purpose for ‘others’. Who are the ‘others’ I so deeply wish to be there for?’ Young people were aware of this complexity, that rather than being a fixed known thing, ‘personal purpose’ was more like a ‘wave’ or something to ‘unfold’ through different experiences. At the same time though, young people were clear they had a purpose in life to pursue, and that its impact on others had emotional resonance. “I mean, it is not just a feeling of selfishness, rather I get this amazing feeling of empathy in the happiest form when I see others thriving.”
When do young people become aware of their purpose & how does it make them feel?
Recognising one’s purpose was described as an intense experience - ‘I guess it’s the closest thing to love I have ever felt.’ In one case it was linked with experiencing failure – ‘I learnt a valid lesson that I needed to gain the correct skill to pursue this dream and ‘calling’ of mine’. For another, it was linked with a journey to their family roots in another country, ‘where I felt this indescribable feeling of belonging. When I started work, it is the only thing that lit me inside to the point of if I did not need money, I could wake up every day and do it for free’. In some cases, a sense of purpose originated from early childhood experiences of self-expression or helping others. ‘When I discovered that I was good at connecting with others from a young age it made me feel excited about life. It gave me the realisation at such a young age despite not understanding the complexity of the structures of life that I now know, that there can be good people in this world and we can connect…. Realising this at 8 years old was pretty overwhelming.’ From ‘love’ to ‘belonging’, the ‘overwhelming’ nature of connection with purpose clearly has tremendous significance for young people.
What or who helps most for young people to believe in and follow their purpose?
The most important factor for young people was having support from their family. This ranged from the impact of family members ‘who continuously encourage the work I am doing which helps me to stay focused on the goal’ and who ‘always made me feel confident in my abilities’ to more practical help in terms of ‘financial security’ and ‘advice’. Family can also be a source of conflict, acting as a stimulus to live life differently through one’s purpose. Where a family is absent or distanced, young people look for alternative sources of emotional inspiration and reassurance to stay connected with their purpose, such as through a mentor or peer group.
How does knowing and staying true to a purpose benefit young people?
Not all the young people felt they were currently living their purpose – ‘I know I have one and I know I am true to it in my own personal life, but I am not sharing as much as I would want to.’ However, the power of purpose as a positive energy meant that young people were still keen to stay focused on achieving purchase as a goal: ‘Even if I deviate from it, I learn how much I want to be back on track, simply because it makes me feel good. It makes my life make sense for me and not for how society tries to mould my pleasures and desires.’ Purpose was identified as something providing structure and a connection to life: ‘It helps me to make sure that everything I am working on aligns with that goal for that season, as I believe your purpose can come in different seasons of life you are in.’ One young person who had recently become a mother noted: ‘my purpose continues to benefit me as a woman but also as a new mother. Knowing that a small little human being will be looking up to me is scary. However, this is just a constant reminder that the need to fulfill my purpose for the benefit of my little boy continues now and forever’ Significantly, having purpose was never felt to bring a pressure on young people, but rather an important counter-balance to the external expectations and survival needs young people navigate in their daily lives.
What might help young people to achieve the full potential of their purpose?
Young people consistently identified four key ingredients that would help them:
1) The focus of a support network or ‘an environment with like-minded people’, defined as ‘Making sure that I always have people around me which will support me but also can give me feedback on my blind spots and where I can improve to get to the next level.’
2) Financial security, expressed more as an aspiration than a specific amount of money
3) Self-belief, defined as ‘The main drive will have to be me staying confident and consistent with my vision’; or simply ‘Believing that I am the best person to carry out my purpose which helps me to elude confidence in all things which I do’.
4) More practical support around ‘finding time and mindspace to stay motivated’, including ‘reading motivational quotes everyday and setting out what my goals are everyday’, and ‘having some kind of regular mentor’.
The cost of not having these ingredients had profound impact – memorably described by one young person as: ‘The problem of being in a completely separate world from the one in which I would thrive in is really weighty; It makes you feel very far away from anything to be conceivable, for things to become concrete and take life.’
How do young people feel about sharing their purpose with others?
Young people recognised that trying to express one’s purpose to share with others brings a sense of vulnerability – ‘it does also make me feel nervous as I have high expectations and sharing it before it’s real is just a scary thing.’ One young person concluded: ‘that state of being vulnerable represents an authenticity which helps to reinforce to others that we are all human and no one is perfect, even if we have dreams and purposes it is okay to be scared or nervous to achieve your personal goals’. While most young people felt ‘excited’ and ‘joy’ in thinking about their purpose, there was also an appreciation that purpose was something still to be achieved - ‘It would be the most satisfying thing I could ever do with my life to be able to fully live within my purpose… it would give me that sense of acceptance and belonging that we all long for.’
The hope that all young people can find acceptance and belonging through the power of their purpose feels a suitable place to close and begin to take positive action. If you are moved in some way to show solidarity with this cause, share your thoughts by emailing hello@inspirechilli.com. We believe all young people deserve a chance to find and express their purpose. It’s something we’d like to invest in more over 2021. Perhaps you can help…
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